From the Archives: July 16, 2005 - Age 29

Well, we're off to Cape Cod for a week. Hope this tides you over until we return...

First journal entries are hard. It is difficult to select a single topic from a week full of firsts: first child, first diaper change, first burp, first bath. For this reason, I’ll begin this entry on the second day of our new daughter’s life. On that morning, I awoke in my apartment to a quiet room, the air conditioner humming from the window. I felt no early morning drowsiness, but rather an instant alertness, and within that frame of mind, I thought of the first thirty seconds after Reilly was born—right after I cut her umbilical cord, and the doctor put her to Shawn’s chest. Shawn looked down at Reilly, then over to me, and in those few seconds, as our eyes met, we connected a way in which the whole world fell away, and all that remained was intense love. When someone asks me how it feels to have a new baby, I say, “awesome,” and when I say that word, what I think of was that moment.

That morning, as I lay in bed, I also felt another emotion, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the feeling was. All I knew was that I felt different. The first time I had felt this difference was when we were still in the labor and delivery room. Shawn was having difficulty delivering her afterbirth, and I was holding her hand and rather fruitlessly trying to comfort her. When all the blood made me feel a little queasy, I stepped back from the bed for a moment. When I turned around, the hospital bassinet was there, and in it was Reilly, jerking her arms and legs. The sight of her caught me by surprise, and I realized that I had forgotten she was there. In fact, I had forgotten that she existed at all. I thought, Oh yeah. Wow. I have a daughter.

Soon, I got out of bed, and walked over to St. Vincent’s hospital to reunite with my wife and baby. I made my way up to the ninth Floor, and then over to the room labeled “S. Overcast.” When I walked in, Shawn was there with Reilly. She debriefed me on how her night went, and then asked me how I was feeling. I told her that I felt proud, and happy, and in love with our new daughter. I also told her that I felt different in some way, though I wasn’t quite sure what the emotion was. She smiled at me. I think she knew, intuitively, what I was trying to express.

As my first week with my new baby daughter has progressed, I’ve learned so much about her, what her patterns are, what her diapers smell like, how angelic she looks when she sleeps. I have felt her warmth as she napped on my chest and I have felt my heart jump as she made eye contact with me for the first time. That day in the hospital when I forgot Reilly was in the room seems distant, because everywhere I go—every minute of the day—she is with me. I realize now that I feel different because I am different. In my life, I have been a son, a brother, a husband. Now, I am a father.

The One Year Check-up

Yesterday in the late morning, I was giving Reilly her lunch when the phone rang. It was Shawn's mom, Donna.

"Whatcha doin', Brian?"

"Feeding Reilly."

"Want some help?"

"Ha-ha-ha."

"No, really, I'm downstairs now. Buzz me in."

"Seriously?"

"Yessssssssss."

So, I buzzed in Donna, and Reilly was able to spend a surprise day with her grandma. Reilly was a little shy at first, but warmed up to her grandma by the time we had to leave for her doctor's appointment.

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Reilly's 12 month check-up went exceedingly well. She was pronounced healthy, both cognitively and physically, and as nurse Doris said, "Is growing on her own curve."

To that end, here are her statistics, as generated by this percentile calculator:

17lbs, 13oz = 4th percentile
2 feet, 4.5 inches = 24th percentile
46cm head circumference= 73rd percentile

These stats match up pretty well to those of her 9 month check up. You can review them by clicking here.

***

Since we're leaving for a week of vacation out on Cape Cod tomorrow, I'm posting Reilly's Week 52 pictures a day early. Check back tomorrow for a special "From the Archives" post.

This week's pictures feature two kids stuffed in a swing and Reilly's first cupcake. Please click here to view.

Cupcakes taste good!

You gotta run, run, run, run, run from the robbers…

Yesterday, Shawn and I stopped into Party City to pick up a few things for Reilly’s first birthday party. While we were there, we strolled down the toy isle. This was my first experience in the toy isle with a child, and it didn’t take long to realize why most parents avoid the toy isle at all costs.

Reilly wanted to touch everything, and to prove her earnestness, made every attempt to throw herself from her stroller. (I have been thankful on more than one occasion that our stroller has a three-point harness.) To appease her, I picked a red rubber ball off the shelf and handed it to her. The ball immediately went into Reilly’s mouth.

Shawn and I finished up our shopping and then paid for our items and left. We took 14th Street to 6th Avenue, turned downtown to 11th Street, where we crossed over to where 11th intersects with Greenwich Street. A block later, we met up with Brian and Chris, Shawn’s co-workers, for a coffee.

After the usual hand shakes and hellos, Brian started smothering Reilly and I turned to talk to Chris. He reached down into Reilly’s stroller and picked something up.

“Is this new?” he asked. He was holding the red rubber ball.

Shawn and I could only laugh. We’re such irresponsible parents, to be teaching our daughter to steal at such a young age. We should have at least waited until she was five.

From the Archives: July 5, 1989 – Age 13

Note: for context, this was written in my first ever journal, a blue, single-subject notebook with college ruled white paper. My mom, brother and I were spending the summer as we always did, in Cape Cod. This entry is not particularly interesting, but does give a view of what was important to me as a 13-year-old boy. The “skills and drills” I refer to in the first line were a series of soccer drills my father had outlined for me to do every morning in preparation for club soccer tryouts at the end of the summer.

Did my skills and drills in the early hours as usual. Played capture the flag at the ball field. Ate lunch. Fluff and Oreo’s. Ya! Played waffle ball. Mike and I vs. Drake and Andy. Score: 40-5. We won! What a cremation! Watched a tennis doubles match for awhile, then watched Mike beat Super Mario Bros. II without warping! Wow! Then we ate dinner. French bread pizza! Yum! After that we went to Andy and Dave’s. I had to babysit Stephen at 8:15. Then I had to write in my journal. Here I am. All caught up! Syanara!

I pledge allegiance...

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Five more things you might not know about Reilly

1) In the last “Five things” entry, I mentioned that Reilly had learned to point with her index finger (instead of the middle one). She now applies this newfound skill as a form of communication, using her finger to point at things that she wants me to give her. For example, yesterday she had stuffed like seventeen Cheerios into her mouth, and didn’t have enough saliva to get them down, so she pointed to her sippy cup and looked at me imploringly.

2) At least once a day, Reilly will look up at us, hold her hands out, palms up, then shrug and say, “Doe?” She says it with a tone that implies she is questioning something.

3) Reilly is up to five consecutive steps now. Yesterday, Shawn and I sat across from each other and let Reilly practice walking back and forth into our waiting arms. At some point, she decided that five steps weren’t really necessary—just two big steps and a jump. She literally threw herself into Shawn’s lap. I’m afraid we’ve got a real daredevil on our hands.

4) Reilly grows chattier by the day. One of the new conversational tools she has is mimicry. For example, this morning, I said, “Hi bugaboo!” and she looked at me and said, “Bay-boo.” She’ll do this several times a day with different words. It’s thrilling.

5) When Reilly is hungry, we take her into the kitchen, strap her into the highchair, and make up some food for her. Lately, while she is watching us get her food out, she will say, “Munna, munnna, mun,” indicating to us that she is ready to eat.

A bonus, sixth thing you might not know about Reilly:

6) Reilly seems to have her own gravity. Whenever we are out, from the sidewalk to the subway, people come up to speak with her. They comment on her eyes or her hair or her jelly sandals, and then Reilly sends them away on their new orbit with a wave and a smile. She has the uncanny ability to change the mood of even the sternest New Yorker.

Week 51 Pictures

To view the Week 51 pictures of our baby girl, click here. Your picture of the week:

Important note: I recently found out that Google and other search engines are able to access our Smugmug site and index our photos of Reilly to Google's site. Though the public can view Reilly's pictures from this blog, it seemed a bit excessive to have her photos available through a Google search. For this reason, I privatized all of Reilly's galleries on our Smugmug site.

What does this mean for you? Well, if you go directly to our Smugmug site, you will not be able to view Reilly's galleries anymore. However, if you click through the links on our blog to her site, like the one above, you will be able to see her photos.

It's a tricky thing, the Internet. There is always a pendulum swinging between free access to information and free invasion of your privacy. Now, go look at some cute baby pictures to relieve yourself of this ponderous discourse.