Shouldn't "Relax" be Step 5?

One time, Shawn tried to make meringue cookies. The recipe essentially calls for a ton of egg whites which you whip into firm peaks, and then bake. I remember Shawn in the kitchen, whipping away with a whisk, and those egg whites would not rise. Shawn called her mom for advice, and found that even if the slightest tiny bit of egg yolk got into the mix, that the batch would be ruined.

Shawn rinsed out the mixing bowl and then started anew, making sure to keep every speck of egg yolk out of the mixture. This time when Shawn started in with the whisk, the egg whites rose out of the bowl like a mountain of fluff, and the cookies were a great success.

Yesterday, Shawn made Reilly some egg yolks for lunch. Reilly LOVES egg yolks, it is by far her favorite food, as evidenced by the way she literally dives forward for the spoon, mouth stretched wide. Unfortunately, we came to learn that even the smallest amount of egg white is an allergen for Reilly.

Our baby got hives, and I mean BAD. She was covered in the itchy little suckers, and Reilly was beside herself trying to scratch them away. Shawn was beside herself with worry and guilt. I was rapidly leafing through our Baby 411 book, looking for advice.

From page 329:

Step 1: Relax. If your child is not having any trouble breathing, this can be managed at home.

Shawn and I skip over the relax part and start focusing on Reilly’s breathing. Is she breathing okay? I don’t know, what do you think? I can’t hear her. Can we normally hear her? Okay, I guess she’s fine. Yeah. Okay.

Step 2: Try to figure out what caused the hives.

That one was easy. Next step!

Step 3: Stop any medications until seeing the doctor.

Another easy one, Reilly isn’t on any medications.

Step 4: Give Benadryl to the baby.

See Brian bolt to bedroom. See him locate Benadryl and pause while recalling proper dosage for a 15 pound baby. See Shawn enter room with Hive Baby. See Brian administer Benadryl in one quick squirt, while Hive Baby writhes in itchiness. See Shawn and Brian expect instant relief.

See Brian and Shawn panic when baby resumes frantic itching and crying.

Eventually, of course, the Benadryl kicked in, and though it took about 8 hours, the hives eventually started to recede, and Reilly returned to her normal, happy self, as if nothing ever happened.

It wasn’t so easy for us, especially Shawn, who took to repeating the following phrase to me about every fifteen minutes for the rest of the day, her face twisted up and contrite: “I poisoned my baby!”