The BIG NEWS

Note: I wrote this entry in longhand a couple of days ago, but was only now able to type it up and post it to the web.

Yesterday, I returned from vacation. Today, I settled in and started the tedious process of unpacking, paying bills, firing off emails, and catching up on all those other parts of my life that ran on without me while I was away.

One of the things I caught up on was Amalah's blog. In her entry from July 10th, she broke the news to the internet that her family is moving from D.C. to Virginia.

For the last few months, I have known that we are moving away, but have not yet mentioned it in this blog. Not a word. Part of my reticence comes from the emotions linked to leaving the City. I forget who it was, but someone once said, “Once you live in New York City, every other place will be nothing more than second best.” So, as I’ve packed boxes and written resignation letters, I’ve also been in intense denial that any of this is actually occurring.

Shawn and I came to Manhattan five years ago so that I could attend The New School for my master’s. The plan was to be here for two to three years. I even named my blog at the time “Two to Three.” Like many people, Shawn and I not only found jobs, made friends, and scored an apartment, but we also fell in love with the City. When I got my diploma after just two years, we weren’t ready to leave.

I’m still not ready to leave, but I must. The demographics of our family have changed, and suddenly our one-bedroom apartment has gone from charming to cramped. More importantly, a vise has clamped around our finances; we have fit in baby food and diapers and daycare, but the thought of preschool makes my wallet scamper for the hills. Also important in the equation is our fatigue: we have worked hard to be the parents we expect ourselves to be and it has been a terribly hard task for two people to undertake alone. In the end, you can only burn the candle from two ends. You cannon splice in an extra wick for more money or an extra pair of hands.

From the start, we have had a list of pros and cons in our heads in the battle between Florida and New York City. Old home vs. New home. When people ask why we’re moving, I say that the scale has finally tipped in favor of leaving. Now, it’s time to go, and today, it is time to tell it: we are moving. To Florida. On July 29th, we are packing up a truck and driving our life back down to where we grew up, to where our family is, to the second best. Are we sad to leave? Yes. Are we happy to be leaving? Yes. But mostly we are afraid.

The city had defined us as people for the last five years; it has left an indelible mark on our personalities. To leave the City is to leave a little of ourselves behind. In some ways, that is a good thing. One more than one occasion, I have thought, The City is killing me. Of course, the City is also a place of much brilliance, a metropolis that defines the term “melting pot.”

Today, Shawn, Reilly and I sat in the waiting room of our pediatrician. In the room with us was an Indian man speaking French to his daughter, and a German woman speaking her native tongue to her two sons. While they waited, they made small talk with us in English. It was such a beautiful moment, the different cultures united by one common factor: we are New Yorkers. In the end, that is what I will miss the most: the tolerance of the people who live here, people from all over the world who live together in peace, as a model of what America is, what it should be, and what it will surely become if we are to succeed as a nation.