I’m sorry to say this, but I think it is time for you to retire. In all honesty, I feel like you betrayed me. Sure, at first you sealed tight and kept the diaper odors from permeating our apartment. You were sleek, white, and inconspicuous as you went about your doody (ahem, “duty”).
When other parents warned me that one day you would not be able to handle the stench of a regular one-year-old, I defended you. I said that with the Level 2 wrap, you could handle any number of poopy diapers spun into your canister. I stood firm even as they laughed in my face, even as they said, “Just wait, you’ll see.” Diaper Genie, I believed in you.
But lo! You are effective no more. Perhaps your genie magic has run dry. What is certain is that when I step into my daughter’s room, it smells like a manure field. I actually look around to make certain I haven’t stepped in anything. All I see is you, stark and white in the corner, the obvious source of what ails me.
And so, I genuinely thank you for your year of service, but I am afraid that I must issue your walking papers. I hereby relieve you of your doody (the pun was so good the first time, I just had to squeeze it in again).
Sincerely,
Brian
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