Three by Midnight

Since Shawn and Donna are in New York this week, yesterday afternoon I packed up Reilly and headed on over to her Nana’s for a good, old-fashioned sleepover. By the time we arrived at her house, it was pouring rain out. Since Reilly was freaking out over the constraints of her car seat, I went out in the rain and set her free. My mom greeted us at the door with all the exuberance of a proud grandmother, waiting on her doorstep with a towel to dry off her granddaughter, lest the rain melt her sugar, spice, and all things nice. Once inside, I set to work assembling a booster seat and a protective gate for the staircase, while Reilly and her Nana set to work in the kitchen, my mom spreading out various books and simple toys for Reilly to play with.

Later, I joined them in the kitchen and collapsed, exhausted, in Reilly’s orange beanbag chair. As I watched Reilly and her Nana dropping spools into an empty oatmeal canister I thought about of one of the overarching reasons we moved to Florida: it is just too damn hard to raise a child with only two people (let alone one). And since I had been flying solo as Mr. Mom for three days running, it was a tremendous relief for me to have just a few minutes where I wasn’t entirely responsible for the welfare of my child.

A short time later, my friend Aaron and his wife Melissa arrived, as well as Aaron’s mom, Gale. Growing up, Aaron was my neighbor and best friend, and Gale often watched over me like a second mother. I often called her “mom.” It made sense, then, that Gale embraced Reilly as she would her own grandchild. Soon, Reilly was in full-on play mode with two grandmothers catering to her every whim. I’ve never seen more peek-a-boo, hide-and-seek, and other heavily-hyphenated games being played in my life.

Throughout all of this I sat in the dining room with Aaron and Missy, catching up with them and watching the two grandmas at work with their granddaughter. Since Gale and my mother are both elementary school educators, it was awesome to watch the way they played with Reilly. They introduced a learning component into everything they did with her. By the time 9:00 rolled around, they had her counting to two. If it wasn’t already and hour past her bedtime, I bet we might have seen the number three by midnight.

As I did the final diaper change and administration of Benadryl (Reilly has a cold), I wondered why the scene downstairs had given me such a sense of relief. I guess the reason comes from the fact that Shawn and I work so hard to make Reilly as safe and smart and happy as we can, but we can only do so much. To see my mothers contributing to my daughter’s happiness and education was so moving, and I felt some of the burden of parenting lift from my shoulders. Raising a child is such a big responsibility that to have someone else sharing in that responsibility is a blessing. And though family and friends have been helping us from the beginning, last night I realized for the first time that we don’t have to do it all on our own